MMM...

Adopting from a different country involves embracing a different culture. In the years to come before we travel to meet our child, we plan to fill out minds with Thai history, celebrated holidays and language.  Though, as of now, we have stuck to filling our stomachs with Thai food.  I was be the first to admit (and virtually all sources can confirm) that I am an unadventurous eater.  Regardless, husband and I tried our first Thai restaurant a few months ago...and by golly, "Mikey likes it!".  We've eaten at a few other Thai restaurants since and last night we decided to try some Thai cooking of our own.  We made Pad Thai.....a combo of rice noodles, special sauce, chicken, bean sprouts and egg.  All in all, it was a pretty good dish.....and most importantly, the KIDS ATE IT.  They did their usual sneering, inspecting and pronoucement of "yucky" as they do when introduced to something new.....and before #1 took his first bite, he said, "Is the chicken at least American?"....then down the hatch with statements such as "This is actually good" and "I like the white stringly things".  I will consider this a success!

Timelines and such....

I've mentioned that it will be a long time before we get to meet our new little person face-to-face but thought I would post the specifics.  We talked our program coordinator earlier this week and she gave me some timelines....actually my notes from our conversation were sitting right here at my office desk before husband filed them away into some unknown location....well, we'll try to go from memory here.  Our first step is to prepare for our homestudy...which involves a social worker visit and a medium amount of paperwork. Then, comes the dossier preparation phase ("dossier" is just a fancy word for a collection of legal documents)....which involves an extra large amount of paperwork.  The coordinator said that homestudy/dossier collection period generally takes 5-6 months.  Husband is an over-achiever when it comes to forms, notaries, file collection, and all things paper so we hope to finish this phase earlier than the average time frame.  Once your dossier is submitted (and Thailand accepts it) you wait for a referral.  At this time, the average wait for referral is 18-22 months.  There are several factors that impact your wait for a referral....notably gender and your willingness to accept a child with special needs.  Fun fact of the day: 80% of adoptive couples want to adopt a girl.  No one really know why but that's the statistic.  We are in the wanting-to-adopt-a-girl camp so that could increase our wait time. There are some special needs that we are willing to accept (and embrace) so that could decrease our wait time.  From referral to travel, the timeline is 9-10 months.  So you have this little person on the other side of the world that you know will be your child but your contact will be limited to quarterly updates and care packages.  This will most definately be the hardest part of the wait.  On the whole, patience is not one of my best and most-admired qualities.....so I think God will be teaching me a lot about learning to wait. 

Da Boys...

Though we were certain adoption was in our future a couple of months ago, we didn't want to tell the kids until the application was in the mail.  They are going to have to wait a l-o-n-g time to meet their new little sibling.....we didn't want to increase the wait.  So, now that we are official, we gave the kids the news.  (For the sake of privacy, I'm now going to refer to our boys as #1 and #2..these numbers of course refer to their birthorder and not our preference for one over the other :) ). 

#2 didn't not give our news second thought....at age 3, his brain is just not able to conceptualize this far-away occurance. #1 however, at 6 years old,  had more to say. First of all, he had a small smile on his face the whole time we explained the process...which we took to be a good sign. Then, he asked MULTIPLE questions....."Are we going to have to learn to speak Thailand?" "Are we going to have to buy a different dining room table?" "Are there going to be girl toys in our house?" The questions spread out over several days.  Now, evidently his mind is at ease, because we haven't heard much about it for a few days. 

A cool thing---In the children's ministry at church, we have been raising money for orphans overseas all summer....so #1 knows the basics of what it means to be an orphan.  Of course, in his mind, ALL orphans do not get enough food to eat and ALL orphans are not clothed....which is certainly not the case......just some generalizations we're going to have to clear up.  In my opinion, siblings are a big and important part of life. I can't wait for the boys to have a sister!

Why Thailand?

We started our adoption research with an open-mind.  Domestic adoption of an infant? International adoption? Adoption from foster care? Embryo adoption?  The field of choices was WIDE open....though we were almost immediately led to international adoption.  I know there are plenty of children in the U.S. that need loving homes and a permanent family but we didn't need a baby (and there are plenty of prospective adoptive mommies and daddies out there that want a baby) and we didn't want have the uncertainty and potential heartbreak of trying to adopt from foster care.  Once we decided to go the international route, I did some agency research. Sidenote: Agency research is paramont.  We had to find an agency that was #1 ethical and had the best interests of the children they place at heart and #2 wasn't going to swindle us out of money.  We found these characteristics (and some very good client reviews) in the agency we chose.  We then could choose from their country programs.  Really all of their programs sounded terrific....China, Ethiopia, Taiwan, etc. Thailand stood out for us though for several reasons.  First, the agency functions as a child welfare organization in Thailand.  The foundation prioritizes keeping families together....if that is not possible, they try domestic adoption ...if an adoptive family in Thailand is not found, they look internationally.  Best interests of the child.  Secondly, while the children are waiting for their families, they are placed in foster homes.  Best interests of the child.  Third, we are just plain drawn to Thailand.  It's a beautiful country and from what we've read, the people of Thailand are characterized as relaxed, tolerant, unhurried, happy, willing to make compromise and conflict-avoiders.....totally our kind of people! We look forward to learning more about the country and culture during our (rather long) wait to child #3.

It's Open People!

So...as a majority of our friends and family know, we have been waiting for the adoption agency we have chosen to again open their Thai program.  It has been closed (meaning that the number of referrals have been lower than normal and the wait list is too long) since last Fall.  We were told that it would open in March...no go...we were told it would open in June...no go...then, I called our agency's local social worker a couple of weeks ago and she said that she would check on the timeline.  She talked to the program director and when she called me back, she said that the director said that (insert smiles) though the program was not open "officially", the agency would let us move forward and fill out the application! Husband and I filled out the application likity-split and now we are on our way to becoming parents of a child born in Thailand!

We started this blog (against my non-techie nature) to keep our family and friends up to speed on our process.  We still would love to chat with ya'll about it face-to-face but wanted a place where you could go to get fresh updates....in case you're curious.  We have learned a TON from reading other adoption blogs.  I don't know how many hours I've stared at the computer screen, eyes watering, reading about strangers' heartwarming stories. It's been a wonderful way to gain access to the personal side of adoption.